Need a Little Christmas

We Need a Little Christmas                            

Call Morgan Stanley.

We have to sell before

Rates start to rise again.

Run through the holdings.

We may be rushing things

But we must find some gains soon.

For we need $300 million

Gains before the year-end.

If we fail to find them,

Sandy’ll have our rear-end.

Yes, we’ll have to move a billion

Bonds this very minute.

Miller’s in an awful hurry;

Denny’s working hard, don’t worry.

It seems each quarter

We run this drill and pay the

College tuition of

Our favorite traders.

It’s time we turned the tables

And did the picking-off now.

Next year we’ll need investment income.

Tell me where to find it.

We sold all our coupons.

This year we don’t mind it.

But we’ve bought a giant 8-ball

And put ourselves behind it.

We’ll need investment income – and how!

Call Morgan Stanley.

We’re going to buy before

Rates start to rise again.

We’ll reinvest all

The cash we raised in last year’s

Stupid gains program now.

And then we’ll monetize our losses.

It’s a vicious circle.

We try to please our bosses.

The strategy won’t work

Until we ignore the accounting

And strive for total return.

We need investment income now.