I Won't Last a Day

A clarion call to bring back the scientific method.

 I WON’T LAST A DAY WITHOUT YOU

 

Day after day, I manipulate the data
at East Anglia, to strangle ya.
It’s nice to know that some scientists will back me
and will always care, to tout a scare

When there’s no gettin’ over the data
When the tree ring hypothesis ain’t true
I will switch to the oxygen content of glacial ice
and hope no one finds out that I do.

So many times when the government comes knocking
With a research grant, refuse I can’t.
It’s nice to know that Big Oil will buy indulgences
‘cause it’s great press, I must confess

When my peers start to question the data

I won’t publish a word that they write

I can ostracize anybody who disagrees

And I won’t give up without a fight.

Hack me and you’ll see my emails
Trouble seemed to bite me in the rear
The pretense of fake “science” starts a failing
Just when Copenhagen was near
now Kyoto’s gone

All those who claim global warming’s blind religion

We will just inveigh, and make them pay
We can’t support our conclusions so we’ll launch

ad hominem attacks on those who hacked.

 

When Fox News tells the world what our hoax is
and the AP won’t cover our tracks
I might lose all the funds for this Potemkin sinecure
And won't know if Al Gore has my back.

When the warmth isn’t anthropogenic

Polar bears still grow long in the tooth

We can’t cripple the United States economy

And there’s no Cap and Trade when there’s truth.